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Ethan and I slide into the benches outside Bethesda’s Simona Cafe. Over iced drinks, we chat about his new culinary venture Sharav, being a married guy, going home without feeling at home, the benefits of being uncomfortable, and (not) selling out.
Samuel: What brought you to the DMV?
Ethan: I was actually born up the road. My family lived in Bethesda for over 10 years. My mom was a professor at American University and my dad worked at NASA. After both my parents relocated to Johns Hopkins, we moved up to Baltimore, where I attended high school and then, when it came time for college – since I’m something of a creature of habit – I ended up going back to American University. And I’ve been in and around the area ever since.
Samuel: What has kept you here?
Ethan: It’s the roots that I have down. I grew up in Bannockburn in Bethesda and my grandparents lived around the corner from us. I got my bar mitzvah at Kol Shalom. There’s comfort to driving around these places and being like: I’ve been here before. I know this place. Driving in, I was remarking to myself that across the street there used to be this little weird office building strip mall that had really good Mongolian barbecue. The building’s gone; it’s a high rise now. Even still, as times change and things change, it’s a comfort driving through. I like the things I know.
Samuel: What does your Jewish practice look like right now?
Ethan: My whole way of living changed getting married. I was just a guy, and then I was a married guy, and the married guy is living a much more fulfilling life. It’s nice to build what a Jewish life looks like with your partner. For us, it starts with Shabbat, having that buffer space between the week that was and the week that will be. My wife is involved in her Rosh Chodesh group, so I get some of that vicariously. I’ll be teaching a cooking class at Temple Shalom this coming year. I’d say I was a little bit lapsed before I got married, and now I’m coming back in.
This was an area where being most comfortable in spaces I [already] know actually did a disservice to me. I’d find myself driving out to Maryland from DC to go to the Chinese restaurant I used to go to, and find that it’s just not the same unless my grandparents are there as well.
I remember picking a place to go for Yom Kippur and going to Kol Shalom again. I went, and people recognized me. I recognized them. But the people I knew were in their 70s and 80s. I didn’t know the young people. So I was seeking out this comfortable place where I was a visitor. I hadn’t been there and aged with everybody. I’d left and come back.
It’s an unanswered question how people find their space. It’s one of the hardest things, figuring out where it is. My gut tells me that if you can get over the social anxiety of it, being uncomfortable in a space is probably the best way to deal with it. You’re never going to find a place where you walk in and it checks all the boxes. You’re better off engaging with the places where you feel uncomfortable.
Samuel: Okay, speaking of getting uncomfortable: You’re going through a major career shift and have started Sharav. What’s the story there?
Ethan: I was laid off in May. It was actually an insane set of events; Lois and I got married last October and went on our honeymoon to Greece in May. We went on this amazing vacation, and the first day back in the office, I was laid off from my IT job.
Samuel: Wow!
Ethan: It took a minute to figure out where my head was at. I felt a bit of relief, actually, because I’d been thinking about quitting. I wasn’t sure whether I even wanted to continue my career in IT. Talking with my wife and my career coach, I was thinking about what work makes me happy and what work makes me fulfilled. Part of the transition from ‘just a guy’ to ‘married guy’ had [included] cooking meals for my wife, for events we had at our house, Shabbat dinners, and getting feedback that was really positive. It took me a while, but I’d realized I really enjoyed doing it. I kept thinking about all the times where I had such a good time planning and making meals for friends, and went: Is it possible that this is it?
We brainstormed ways to start small, and farmer’s markets came across as that entry point where it’s a significant investment but won’t destroy our lives if it doesn’t work. I’d never worked in a kitchen before – I just learned it. I learned what I needed: certifications, tests, courses, a commissary kitchen, the equipment. This came together and a week ago was our first launch weekend at Olney Farmers and Artists Market.
Samuel: What went into the menu creation process for Sharav?
Ethan: Growing up, I loved Persian food. Moby Dick is down the street from here, and it was actually opened up by my elementary school friend’s father. We used to go all the time and it was one of my favorite things to eat. When I was very young, my parents had me go to an in-home daycare run by a Persian woman, and she’d make Persian food for us. When I started to think about what things I wanted to cook – before the idea of a business ever came to mind – I thought about the food I like, the food I naturally gravitate towards.
To some extent, this is also a post-October 7th reaction. I stopped reading the news; I couldn’t do it. It took everything out of me. After October 7th, I think the pain I felt was the pain that everybody felt. What hurt so much was that I felt that peace was possible, but everything that people were doing in Israel and Palestine and the surrounding areas was pushing it further away. I have a desperation for peace.
And I’ve found that the foods I naturally gravitate towards – Persian food, Iraqi food, food from North Africa and Yemen – these are foods that were shared between Muslim and Jewish neighbors for 2,000 years. There were of course problems, but if we take a generally optimistic look at the past…these communities lived together. They incorporated each other’s cultures into their own, like with the Mimouna festival.
I also feel [the menu] is a little bit of pushback against the narrative that this part of the world isn’t where Jews are from. I mean, how long do you need to be somewhere to be from somewhere? Without trying to overinterpret, I think it does a service to the prospect of peace to highlight the fact that Mizrahi Jews call Baba Ganoush Baba Ganoush – that’s the Arabic word – and that they celebrate with their Arab neighbors, and also that it puts [Jews] in this time and place.
Samuel: If in 10 years Sharav has been a success in your mind, what does that look like?
Ethan: Private equity. I’m cashing in. We’re going to get bought by Chipotle.
No. My last two jobs were related to private equity and I hated it. The ultimate goal is to have an actual physical space, a restaurant. I want people from all walks of life to feel comfortable eating and being in the space. That’s the ideal in 10 years: a profitable brick and mortar, and maybe still showing up at farmer’s markets.
Samuel: A couple quick ones to close. What are you bad at?
Ethan: Going to bed on time.
Samuel: You’re hosting Shabbat dinner and can invite any three people. Who are you bringing?
Ethan: Anthony Bourdain, Martin Buber, and Michael Twitty.
Samuel: Last one. Finish the sentence: When Jews of the DMV gather…
Ethan: You can have more than bagels, lox, and cream cheese.
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