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Jake was a long-time DMV resident, a fixture at GatherDC happy hours and learning cohorts, and mainstay at a few local basketball courts. So why is he picking up and moving to Spain? Jake answers that question and more in this heartfelt and reflective blog!
What does it mean to live an authentic life? How do we move toward that version of ourselves while honoring our current commitments? What needs to stay the same and what must change? These are questions I’ve been sitting with over the past few months. They’ve led to some meaningful shifts in my life but, before I share what those changes are, I want to take you back to an experience that first planted these questions.
Three and a half years ago, I participated in GatherDC’s Beyond the Tent Retreat (BTT). BTT is a weekend-long experience that invites Jews in their 20s and 30s to explore what it means to be Jewish today. Together, we unpacked 21st-century American Judaism and examined different, authentic ways of expressing our Jewish identities. In our first group session, I remember Rabbi Ilana Zietman (GatherDC’s rabbi at the time) asking a simple but disarming question: “Why be Jewish?”
This wasn’t rhetorical. She wanted us to reflect honestly, especially at a time when being Jewish felt increasingly complicated, given the rise in antisemitism and broader societal pressures.
The answers seemed obvious to me:
“Because it’s my tradition.”
“Because I’m supposed to do what my parents and grandparents did.”
“Because I feel a responsibility to carry it forward.”
None of these answers were wrong. But, Rabbi Ilana challenged us to go deeper. She asked us to consider whether our answers felt alive. Were they relevant, active, and meaningful in our daily lives?
That’s when I realized that many of my answers had been inherited. They were shaped by community, friends and family expectations, and history. While there is real value in that, I wanted to strengthen my relationship with Judaism in a way that felt more personal. I wanted to be Jewish in a way that felt natural to who I am right now, not just who I’ve been told I should be.
As I sat with that, new answers began to emerge:
I want to be Jewish because it gives me a sense of belonging.
I want to be Jewish because it connects me to a community with shared values.
I want to be Jewish because Jewish wisdom offers a moral compass when life feels uncertain.
These weren’t definitive answers, but just a beginning for me. After BTT, I started translating these reflections into practice. I joined small group discussions at Sixth & I and participated in Shabbat Clusters through the Edlavitch DCJCC. I’m so grateful for both experiences because I’ve met life-long friends. They also clarified the importance of community to me. With the help of friends, I identified a handful of prayers I could return to each day that helped me feel grounded. This process took time, and I’m still very much in it. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that it’s been fun. Meeting new people, trying new programs, and noticing what resonates (and what doesn’t) has felt less like an obligation and more like an invitation.
Naturally, this shift in perspective didn’t stop with my Jewish identity. I began re-examining questions about my work, relationships, and what I wanted for my life. Through this examination, I noticed I was unfulfilled. I wasn’t living my best life. I had somehow lost the exuberance that came with me to DC four years ago.
I knew I had to make a change, so I wrote a letter to myself. The letter wasn’t long, but I mentioned things that were great about my life, and others that weren’t. I vowed to make changes and told myself I would start small. Some days I felt energized and ready to make bold moves. Other days, I felt completely stuck. I journaled, reflected on past experiences, and talked things through with friends and family. And when I finally accepted that living more authentically might require real change, I felt afraid.
Change meant stepping into unfamiliar territory, and uncertainty is rarely comfortable. Still, I allowed myself to imagine possible futures.
Through that exploration, I realized I had a growing desire to travel and experience new cultures, mainly because I never had a true study abroad experience in college. That’s when I discovered RVF International, an organization that recruits native English speakers to teach English in Spain. When I first applied to the program, it felt like a moonshot idea. But, after meeting with their staff, I was excited about a possible future in Spain. The opportunity to live abroad, teach students, and immerse myself in a new culture felt both exciting and meaningful.
I know what you might be thinking: This seems unconventional, especially for someone in their 30s. But that’s exactly the point. This is my chance to explore the world, to live in alignment with what feels authentic to me right now, and to see what life might look like somewhere else.
I’m both excited and scared for what’s ahead. When the uncertainty feels overwhelming, I return to two quotes that ground me in this moment: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone,” and “If not now, when?”
As I move toward a more authentic version of myself, I’ve had to say goodbye to friends and co-workers I’ve met since moving to DC It hasn’t been easy. Community is what has kept me here for the past five years and leaving it, at least for now, is the hardest part. I can only hope to build the same sense of community in Spain.
My high school history teacher used to harp on the idea of carpe diem. Back then it felt irrelevant and something I couldn’t relate to. But now, it feels like an invitation I’m finally ready to accept.
The views and opinions expressed in this blog and on this website are solely those of the original authors. These views and opinions do not necessarily represent those of the organization GatherDC, the GatherDC staff, the GatherDC board, and/or any/all contributors to this site.
