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Rabbi Miriam and I sit down outside The Coffee Bar. In between gawking at an incredible parade of dogs going past in the early afternoon, we chat about Rabbi Miriam’s new job at Am Kolel, being a part of multiple communities, different conceptions of the Divine, a bunch of good books, and eroding intergenerational biases.
Samuel: What brought you to the DMV?
Miriam: I’m coming most directly from Boston, where I was the rabbi at Brandeis Hillel for two years. Before that, I was in LA finishing rabbinical school. My time at Brandeis was coming to an end – it was a grant-funded position, and the grant sunsetted – so I was looking for a new job and I have friends in the DMV. I didn’t know a lot of people in Boston when I moved there, so finding community was hard, and I wanted to move to a place where I already knew people. DC is a challenging place to be, but it’s a cool place to be, and there’s so much opportunity here, politically and religiously and socially, all the different things [you need] for a well-rounded life.
When Am Kolel came up, it was a really interesting and exciting opportunity because they were growing the organization and looking for someone to bring in younger people and move it to its next phase. I was glad to jump onboard.
Samuel: Did you have a lightbulb moment where you realized Am Kolel was the place for you?
Miriam: There’s a lot of interesting things about this community. It’s in the middle of an identity opportunity – it started as a havurah [Editor’s note: usually a small group of Jews coming together for Shabbat, holiday services, and community support] that wanted space to be politically liberal and Jewish, but it’s been 30 years, and now that population is a little bit older…we’re in this moment of asking: What is the future of this community? What can we be? Our mission is to meet the unmet needs of the community – that’s why it started in the first place, because a bunch of people felt like they didn’t have the community that checked all their boxes.
Samuel: There’s always a lot of discourse about political differences across generations…how is that landing for you, as you think about bringing people who might identify as left-of-center but are from very different generations together?
Miriam: One of the things that was really exciting about this job is that, as a 30-something-year-old, I had a lot of biases about the older generation. But I think, at least in this community, there’s not much difference. It’s a progressive community, and they are dedicated to showing up for people and putting themselves on the line. I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how [the community] has been checking a lot of my own biases.
Samuel: We hear from folks all the time about the difficulty of finding one Jewish “home” that fits all their needs. How have you thought about that in your conversations with younger Jews?
Miriam:I have been Jewishly involved my entire life, and there has never been one shul or community that checked all of my boxes. I want to encourage people to be part of multiple communities, though obviously finances are challenging. That’s a completely different story.
But there’s so many opportunities, especially in the DMV, to find communities and people and organizations for specific things. Limiting ourselves to needing one community to fit everything is only going to harm us, as Jews trying to explore. Finding one Jewish home might not be in the cards, as one community could have the rabbi that inspires you and another has the community that you’re looking for and another has the social programming. So I don’t think that the opposite of having “A Home” is being lost. The opposite of A Home is feeling at home in many places. That could be the other solution.
The same is true for friendships. I might go to one friend for advice on something and then go to another friend for advice about something else. People are dynamic while organizations might be static. You might not be able to find all you need in one place because you are a dynamic person, so you need different things from different people, organizations, whatever. If your home base is not offering a class you’re interested in, but the place next door is, take that class! It shouldn’t feel like a betrayal.
Samuel: What are the dynamic needs folks have that you feel like aren’t always being met right now?
Miriam: One of the intimidating pieces about ‘Institutional Judaism’ is the religiosity – it’s davening [Editor’s note: praying], and Shabbat. But living a Jewish life is mostly outside of synagogue, right? It’s about what you do in your home. It’s about the friends that you have. It’s about the things you think about on your walk to the subway. So, moving out of that brick and mortar space and intentionally offering opportunities, whether it’s kickball or learning Torah in a bar, for example, is a way for people who might be unsure about how Judaism can be a part of their life outside the building to see it [in practice].
Samuel: We’re talking as the High Holidays approach. What is bubbling up and feeling alive for you?
Miriam: In this theme of trying to personalize Judaism, one of the things I feel like I haven’t been doing, and so I imagine others haven’t been as well, is actually preparing ourselves for the High Holidays. We have this entire month of Elul that’s meant for preparation, so you’re not doing all of this [spiritual work] in just ten days. We’re in the middle of our Elul series, using Rabbi Alan Lew’s This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared. We looked at Rosh Chodesh, and what teshuva actually is. How can we start thinking about our missteps? How do we want to be better?
And, we’re looking at the God of the High Holidays. I think that’s a challenging topic for a lot of contemporary Jews – this Judge, this Author of the Book of Life and Death, this giant Father-King deity…it’s really scary, and hard to imagine for people who may or may not believe in God otherwise, right? We’re going to look at those God concepts. We want to have something to meditate on so that when we get to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we’re not pushing it to the side. We want to actually wrestle with these things and find something we can actually believe or hold onto, instead of just outright rejecting it.
Samuel: What’s your God concept? What do you hold onto?
Miriam: My religious journey has followed my theological journey. All of my religious ups and downs have been the effect of my belief or lack of belief in God. So theology is very important to me. I’ve believed and not believed and been excited about and loved and felt all of these different things about God. I love helping people not be afraid to talk about God. If we’re willing to move past the ‘man in the sky’ and think about God in broader terms, there’s a lot that can open up.
My theology now is that God is aware of every person, is conscious…language is too limiting to describe God, but it’s all I have. I believe God has contracted Godself so as not to interfere with the world because, if God did, then we would learn nothing. We would have no choice. In order for us to have free will, God can’t act in the world. And I think God gets really sad about that – like a parent, right? God wants to fix everything. God wants to lift us up and fix all of our problems, but then we don’t learn anything, and we can never be better.
I think God is actively hoping that we will learn and do better, and is watching with bated breath, so that God and humanity can be partners in bringing a happier, peaceful time. Humanity can’t do it alone. God can’t do it alone. It has to be both of us.
Samuel: A couple quick ones to close. How are you thinking about being part of this DMV community? What are your goals?
Miriam: I just got here – I want to meet everyone. I’m a resource, and even though Am Kolel is in Rockville, it can be one of your communities. The only thing I care about is that people find their Jewish joys, that they’re able to find their connection and their way into Judaism. If I or Am Kolel can help them get there, that’s why I became a rabbi. If I can be helpful or useful in any way, I want to be.
Samuel: You’re hosting Shabbat dinner and can invite three people.
Miriam: Yentl – to me, she’s like the first Reform woman who said: “F you, patriarchy, I’m going to learn.” That’s so cool. Then, Anita Diamant. I’m currently reading The Red Tent. It’s beautiful. She’s also written other books about modernizing Jewish ritual for lifecycle events…I’m only thirty pages in, but I knew I was going to love this book. I’d just never picked it up. And finally, my grandma, who passed away last year.
Samuel: Last one. Finish the sentence: When Jews of the DMV gather…
Miriam: There’s the potential for divine sparks.
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