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Richard and I meet (after discovering that our original destination had ceased to exist) at For Five Coffee in Arlington one brilliantly sunny afternoon. We chat about his professional journey to the DMV, what it means to “stick the landing,” a very DC (and very charming) first date story, and hosting as an act of rebellion.
Samuel: What brought you to the DMV?
Richard: I grew up in a family of civil servants, with both of them having worked for the Navy as civilians. Then, one day a few years ago, a friend of mine that lives in Arlington was like: Hey, why don’t you come up to DC? In 2020, I had separated from my then-spouse, literally weeks before lockdown started, and so that was a bit of a crucible of reflection, but it was for the best. It got me reprioritizing my life and getting back on track with what I wanted to do. So I moved up here and now I work in defense supply chain risk management. It’s really interesting and I like being part of an important mission.
Samuel: Was there a particular entry point for you?
Richard: It’s a double-pronged answer there, as I came to Judaism as an adult, and that definitely affected how I got involved in the DMV. My dad passed away when I was a freshman in college, and that kicked off a bunch of questions for me about why we’re here, what we should be doing with our lives, and stuff like that.
I started reading a lot, and, oddly enough, it was Mere Christianity by CS Lewis that influenced a lot of my thoughts. It started out as a radio series during World War II, meant to be boosting morale, explaining why British society believed the things they believed — basically an argument for Christianity. The first half gets you to ethical monotheism, and the second half gets you to Christianity in particular. I wasn’t overly sold on the second half, but the first half really stood out to me and had me asking, “Who has THAT part?” And that got me down the rabbit hole of Judaism.
After a lot of wrestling, I really fell in love with it, and I ended up converting. So that’s how I landed here religiously. But I had always wanted to do what my family did in terms of civil service, especially for defense. I got my Master’s in Applied Math, worked for a few years in finance, eventually making my pivot to defense here in the DMV.
Samuel: What has kept you here?
Richard: I stuck the landing! What I wanted to do and why I came here haven’t changed. Fundamentally, I believe in the people we share a country with, and I believe that we have a responsibility in terms of the power of our country and where we’re at in history to try and make the world a better place. If I can be a little cog in that machine, helping to make the world just a little bit safer, I think it is worth doing.
That doesn’t mean you don’t draw the line somewhere. If you run into something that’s immoral and you can’t support it, don’t. Raise your voice to stop it, yeah? But don’t lose focus because of the turbulence of the times. You can’t be deterred from trying to make the world better by some people that you think might be making it worse. The solution is to engage, not disengage.
I’ve also really gotten involved with local organizations, like GatherDC and the Den Collective, as well as Agudas Achim Congregation in Alexandria.
Samuel: What has made Agudas Achim a home community for you?
Richard: They’ve been a phenomenally welcoming community, for both me and my son. They have amazing programming that really picks up the slack that sometimes I couldn’t. It’s been a weird thing about my Jewish journey, where I feel like I have a decent grasp of things like theology, but I can be laughably ignorant of little everyday things that people would have picked up in school, or from their grandparents. So I’m really conscious of trying to fill those gaps for my kid because I want to make sure he grows up with a fleshed-out Jewish upbringing. Agudas Achim has been amazing for that.
Samuel: What else is feeling alive for you Jewishly?
Richard: GatherDC has been an organization I’ve been hugely involved in. I’ve done several cohorts, and I’m now on the Advisory Council. I mentioned “sticking the landing” – Noa was one of the first people I met, and she was instrumental in making that happen. She’s essentially like a social matchmaker, helping Jews in the DC area get integrated and making connections and introductions. I did the High Holy Days cohort when I was fresh here, and that really helped me get to know what kind of folks are here.
That was nice and refreshing because growing up Protestant and then converting to Judaism in the South, it could feel a little alienating at times, with community being pretty sparse. Then when I get here, on a random Monday night, you could put together a bunch of young people who want to talk about the parsha [Editor’s note: the weekly Torah reading]. That’s really cool that people care enough about their faith and grappling with ideas. It convinced me that I came to the right place.
In one of our first conversations, Noa suggested that I dive deeper into my Judaism through Jewish learnings at the Den Collective – that’s actually how I met my fiancé, Dani. I did parsha study for a while, and I’m currently doing a men’s cohort and couples’ learning cohort. It’s been a great place to dive into deep topics.
Samuel: How did you two meet?
Richard: We were actually introduced by one of the community rabbis with the Den. On our first date we saw a one-man play at the DC JCC and then had tea at Le Diplomate. I actually told her on our first date that I really want to be the type of family – I start strong, if you can’t tell – that hosts people and is hospitable. And she was like: I’ve got some good news for you. She hosts Passover, Sukkot, Rosh Hashanah, there’ll be like thirty people in her living room. That’s been jumping into the deep end learning about Judaism on a practical level, you know? But it’s been amazing. I adore her. She’s amazing.
Samuel: Do you feel like that emphasis on hosting has a specifically Jewish resonance for you?
Richard: My family never did anything big growing up, so I feel like maybe there’s an element of rebellion there in wanting to be hospitable. I think an important value, especially with where we’re at in the world, is to look out for other people and make sure everybody has a place to go. I believe that in a metaphorical sense, but also literally in a physical sense. To me, that is a Jewish value – you’re trying to build the world where people feel safe and wanted.
Samuel: A couple quick ones to close. What’s something you’re bad at?
Richard: Dancing. So, Dani and I have been taking dance classes, ballroom and stuff. It’s been a growing edge for me. With my level of skill…if you’re at the South Pole, you can only go north. I can only get better.
Samuel: You can bring any three people to Shabbat dinner. Who are you inviting?
Richard: Teddy Roosevelt, Frederick Douglass, and Thomas Paine. I’m a proud American, while also grappling with what to do about injustice. We need people going out and trying to wrestle with the world. I’d like to see what they would say in the same room – where we should be going in light of where we’ve been.
Samuel: Last one. Finish the sentence: When Jews of the DMV gather…
Richard: The world gets better.
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