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Miriam and I meet one gorgeous afternoon at Call Your Mother in the West End for iced coffee and a wonderful conversation about two very different types of fear (and how they affect us), Miriam’s experience as an emerging clay polymer artist, mindfulness and chronic pain management, working at Starbucks, and who the “antithesis of hustle culture” is. Enjoy!
Samuel: What brought you to the DMV?
Miriam: I grew up in Silver Spring. I started college as a Theater major at Wagner College, but decided to move on for a couple reasons, including that I was missing having a Jewish community at Wagner, which was really important to me. My boyfriend at the time, who is now my husband, was attending Penn State. I’d visited him there, and knew Penn State had a large Jewish community, so I ended up transferring before my junior year. Then, after [college], my husband got a job and we ended up moving to Arlington.
Samuel: What’s kept you here?
Miriam: Growing up in the DC area, I feel like I got to know one, surface-level side of DC. We’d take field trips to the monuments and museums. But I felt like I didn’t really know the city well. It’s been cool, especially in the last four years or so, to make a point to explore DC in a much deeper way. I love going to art galleries and finding hidden gems; I feel like I relate to DC in a new way since moving back.
Samuel: What is one of those hidden gems you’ve discovered?
Miriam: The Rubell Museum. It’s in Navy Yard and it’s a newer art museum. They have a lot of really cool modern art pieces and it’s free for DC residents.
Samuel: You were part of our summer Beyond the Tent Retreat, right?
Miriam: Yeah, I loved it. It’s been great to connect with everybody through that. I’ve lived with chronic pain for almost ten years and had to take a break for the last few years from a lot of social interaction, which unfortunately included a lot of Jewish events. I’ve been doing physical therapy and feel like I’m on a much better path now, so I’ve decided that it’s time to dabble back in – Beyond the Tent was a great way to do that, and I’m happy to be rebuilding that sense of community.
Samuel: Does your Judaism play a role in that pain management process?
Miriam: I love mindfulness and meditation. One of the most powerful experiences I had was a Jewish silent meditation retreat. It started New Year’s Eve of 2020, this week-long silent retreat. It definitely helped shape how I relate to Judaism, and I continue to participate in Jewish mindfulness groups. The Institute for Jewish Spirituality does a virtual meditation for young adults every Monday night called Shevet Mindfulness; I don’t always go to the live one, but I use their recordings, and it really helps me.
I like how meditation calms my central nervous system on days when I’m feeling really stressed, or my mind is racing, or I’m feeling frustrated. Lately, I’ve been doing this 4-6-6 exercise. Breathe in for four counts, hold for six counts, and exhale for six counts. I genuinely feel my body start to relax in a meaningful way. That’s the biggest thing, the relaxation – I’m telling myself that I deserve to relax and have peace. As my health keeps improving, one thing I want to return to is theater. I act and sing.
Samuel: What else is resonating for you Jewishly right now?
Miriam: There was one idea from the Beyond the Tent Retreat that I really loved: the difference between two types of fear, pachad and yirah. To me, pachad is that nervous energy that follows you around sometimes – you’re overthinking, constantly stressed out and worrying. Yirah is kind of like that feeling you get right before taking a leap of faith. Knowing the experiential differences between those two types of fear has helped me understand what I can approach knowing that it’s scary, but will turn out positive in my life…and what are things that might feel scary, but worrying about them is only going to weigh me down.
Samuel: It’s like anxiety versus the fear of uncertainty.
Miriam: Exactly. Anxiety is pachad – it grips you and makes your muscles tense for days on end. Yirah, at least to me, is this feeling of my body coming alive, like I’m flying.
Samuel: Okay, a few quick ones to close. What is something you’re bad at?
Miriam: I was reading through the other interviews and I wish I had something more interesting, but it’s math. I work at Starbucks and, when I’m working the cash register, someone will hand me a $20 bill for a $10.63 total. After I press the $20 bill button on the register, they’ll be like “Oh, wait I have 63 cents,” and…Oh my God, I freak out. It should be so simple, but I’ve already pressed the button, and it’s telling me what change to give them. I just…I don’t know.
Samuel: I used to work at Dunkin’ Donuts and the same thing drove me insane. This is a good opportunity – what’s your PSA to people reading this who haven’t worked service industry jobs? What habits should they be changing?
Miriam: Especially if we’re busy, if you need a water, please just order it at the register, not the pick-up window. It is a drink. Like all the other drinks, you might have to wait for it. The other thing is: Sometimes we don’t look busy, but we all live in this world of delivery apps and mobile apps. You’re in line with a bunch of ghosts, and it’s really difficult for some people to understand that.
Samuel: What’s something you’re feeling proud about?
Miriam: I became a working artist this past year, crafting with polymer clay. That’s been exciting for me and I’m so proud of myself for doing that. It’s something that started as a way to heal my inner child, so to speak, just getting back into art and creativity and play, and it’s gradually turned into something really amazing. I’ve done several commissions for family and friends, but this year I got my first commission from someone who I randomly met at an art gallery.
Another thing I’m really excited about: I’m going to New York in October for a party and fundraiser for one of the original cast members of the musical Jersey Boys. My friend hosts a podcast devoted to the musical, and I happen to also be obsessed with Jersey Boys, so I’m going to be crafting Jersey Boys-themed items to bring and sell at the fundraiser.
Samuel: You’re hosting Shabbat dinner and can invite any three people. Who are they?
Miriam: I want to bring Mr. Rogers. He inspires me to take pleasure in simple things in life, and to reach out to people and enjoy friendship. I really do appreciate that. It’s part of why I love exploring DC so much – it makes the city feel smaller. I also adore Winnie the Pooh and would love to have Shabbat dinner with him. We would have lots of honey, and he’s like the antithesis of hustle culture, which I love. Then, probably Taylor Swift. She’s turned her whole life into a tapestry of beauty, which inspires me.
Samuel: Last one. Finish the sentence: When Jews of the DMV gather…
Miriam: Lots of giggles. Giggles and deep conversation.
Samuel: Anything else that we didn’t cover, or that I didn’t ask about?
Miriam: I love my husband. He’s not Jewish but he loves doing Jewish rituals with me, which is so good. We love lighting Shabbat candles together. He probably gets more excited about hosting Passover and stuff like that than I do. What can I say? He’s just the best.
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