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Hadar and I meet at Dupont Circle’s Dolcezza for iced coffee, gelato, and a wonderful conversation about Hadar’s recently-completed sleep research fellowship, the role of “obligation” in her Jewish practice and community, her love for DC Minyan and Rosh Pina, what she’s looking forward to during the High Holidays, and why Caitlin Clark would be a good Shabbat guest!
Samuel: What brought you to the DMV?
Hadar: A job, basically! I moved here two years ago after graduating college for a job at the NIH doing sleep research. I moved into DC, rather than to Bethesda where a lot of the NIH post-baccs live, because I knew the Jewish community I wanted to be a part of was going to be more central to DC.
Samuel: What is that Jewish community for you?
Hadar: Once I decided I was moving to DC, someone – and I cannot, for the life of me, remember who or when – told me about this traditional egalitarian community, DC Minyan, and the partnership minyan, Rosh Pina. I was like: That sounds great! I was on the email list before I even moved.
Samuel: What has made those spaces feel right for you?
Hadar: For me, what makes it special is that I like the traditional and egalitarian sides, and [DC Minyan and Rosh Pina] take both of those pieces very seriously. There’s something about the person who shows up to DC Minyan – they come so genuinely and with so much intentionality.
Samuel: What is Rosh Pina like?
Hadar: It’s basically an Orthodox-style service, but allowing women to do a little bit more than a traditional Orthodox service. Men and women still sit separately, and men lead certain parts of the service, but women can lead parts of the service for which men are not obligated in the same way. I go there on the weeks that DC Minyan is off because there are a lot of similar people who I like.
Samuel: How does the idea of obligation resonate in your personal religious practice?
Hadar: That’s a good question…I find that in my own practices, I don’t find a sense of obligation. I feel like I’m choosing Judaism and the Jewish practices that I do. I do feel a sense of obligation to [my community].
DC Minyan creates a good culture around the idea that if you come and participate, you build up a sense of obligation to give back. Sometimes, obligation comes with this sense of dragging your feet to do something, being forced to do it, but I find that people want to be giving back.
Samuel: What Jewish practices feel most essential for you right now?
Hadar: Shabbat resonates with me. I really like the 25-hour break from the week. I love services. I really like turning my phone off and having a screen-free day, and it’s become a very social day, because I choose to surround myself on Shabbat with other people who are more traditionally Shabbat-observant. There’s this sense of relaxation and being present, not worrying about the other things going on in your life.
Samuel: What are you most looking forward to with the High Holidays approaching?
Hadar: Along a similar vein, I think there’s something really nice about Yom Kippur – in the way that I celebrate it – where there’s really nothing to be doing except being in shul. I know that can be hard for some people, but I really enjoy it, with that similar feeling of being present and able to sit with my thoughts and reflect. I try to keep an eye out for new parts of the liturgy – new themes, language – that I haven’t noticed before.
The part that gets me every year is this section about who will live and who will die. It gets kind of dark very quickly, but it makes you think a lot about how suddenly death can come. I find that to be very powerful. When there are opportunities to be spontaneous, I often will say yes to them because, you know…who knows what’s going to happen next week? I want to take advantage of every opportunity I’m presented with.
Samuel: A few quick ones to close. What are you feeling proud about right now?
Hadar: I just got back from a three week trip. I was in Israel for two weeks studying at Pardes, a pluralistic yeshiva program, and then I was in Estonia for a week by myself. It was my first solo travel experience and I feel quite proud of myself. There was a sleep exhibit in an Estonian museum that I wanted to see, and I tried to find some family or friends to come with, but no one’s schedule quite lined up. I was like: Alright, I’m going to do this myself! And I did, and it was great, and I’m proud that I made this happen for myself and didn’t let the fact that I was going alone stop the trip from happening.
Samuel: What is something in the DMV that deserves more shine?
Hadar: The National Museum of Health and Medicine. It’s out in Silver Spring, and it’s pretty small. It’s a museum of military medicine and all the advances that have been made during wars. It’s interesting to think about the medical advances we’ve made out of terrible times – one of the ideas there that stood out to me was that people were getting injured in new ways, so we had to learn how to treat them in new ways.
Samuel: You can invite any three people to Shabbat dinner. Who are you bringing?
Hadar: I would invite Caitlin Clark – we’ve had multiple Shabbat meals either watching her play or because she’s played. Some friends and I hosted the winners of DC Minyan’s Women’s NCAA March Madness bracket for Shabbat dinner, and everything was basketball-themed. We had Impossible meatballs, Brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes with gravy that drew the outline of a basketball court, and I made orange butterscotch cake pops. Given that, I think Caitlin Clark needs to be there.
I’d also really love to have William Dement. He’s considered a father of sleep medicine research; he’s one of the people who discovered REM sleep, and I’d want to ask him about that. It seems like it would have been terrifying. And then, the third person I’d invite is Mayim Bialik. I really like her character on The Big Bang Theory but I also follow her on social media and think she’s really interesting as an active Jewish celebrity. I’d like to talk about what her relationship with Judaism is like.
Samuel: Last one. Finish the sentence: When Jews of the DMV gather…
Hadar: We schmooze!
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