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Melissa and I post up in the waning afternoon hours at the downtown Good Company Doughnuts. In between polite interruptions — “Did I hear you both say you’re from New Jersey? I’m from New Jersey!” — we chat about 102 years of family kiddush, finding a synagogue home in DC, adopting a cat, daguerreotypes, and Melissa’s museum career path.
Samuel: What brought you to the DMV?
Melissa: Museums! I went to American University and got my undergrad [degree] in History and Anthropology. I had two really great internships at the Holocaust Museum and the American History Museum. That got me set on my career path in museum collections. My goal was always to come back to DC, but Covid happened, and I had to move around to build up my career. Then, a year ago, I got a job at the National Gallery of Art and got to move back to DC.
Samuel: Aside from work, what’s kept you here?
Melissa: I mean, I love DC. I’ve lived in New Jersey, suburban Illinois, rural Iowa…out of all those places, DC has the right speed. It’s not too crowded, not too big. DC has all the right stuff and doesn’t feel overwhelming.
Samuel: What about museum work fascinates you?
Melissa: The reason I got into collections work was learning that most museums, at most, have five percent of their collection on display at one time. So 95 percent is in storage, and I get to work with that 95 percent. At my old job, I was inventorying and cataloguing the collection – if you look at an object’s label that says “this is made by this artist, with this material, and here’s the blurb about it,” I was doing that research.
My absolute favorite part about it is getting to hold history in my hand. When I was working with the Obama Presidential Collection, we had all the gifts from foreign heads of state that were given to him. We had the first ever foreign gift given by South Sudan after they became a country – so I got to hold [this object] that was the start of this nation doing anything diplomatic.
And in my current job, I work in the photography collection. I love 19th century photography because daguerreotypes, the earliest form of photography, did not create negatives. Which means: every daguerreotype is the only version of it that ever existed. My favorite thing is that we have images from 150 years ago, and it’s a lot of pictures of cats and dogs. The second cameras were invented, we were like: I need to photograph my pet. That’s humanity.
Samuel: Do you feel like collections work really impacts your personal life and, like, interior decorating or organization?
Melissa: I’m really good at organizing things that are not mine. Things that are mine, I’m terrible at organizing. But I really love a theme. I’m not a curator, but I curate my apartment. My bathroom is Shakespeare-themed. My living room is Starry Night-themed. Starry Night was the first painting I ever loved; it really introduced art to me. My aunt gave my dad a poster of Starry Night when he was a kid, and that was the first time he appreciated art, and that passed down to me through that poster, which I now have hanging on my wall.
Another way work reflects [in my life]: I’m annoying to go to museums with. While everyone else is looking at the objects, I’m looking at the tombstone text [Editor’s note: the blurb and artist name next to a piece] and the fonts and the numbering systems. And I’ll judge it.
Samuel: Where are you finding Jewish community right now?
Melissa: With Gather! I’ve been really lucky to do the 20s Seder back in April, then Mini Gatherings and Beyond the Tent. It’s been such a great way for me to meet people that I’m talking to and hanging out with. This past weekend, I saw six different people from Beyond the Tent, just in various different ways.
Then, I’ve also joined Adas Israel as a member. Their young Jewish professionals program is so good – it’s so vibrant and they have so many great offerings. Everyone’s been really welcoming. I met people, and they immediately started inviting me to things outside of Adas, and wanting to be friends outside of just going to synagogue together.
Samuel: You grew up going to a Reform synagogue, and that was initially what you checked out in DC…how has landing at Adas Israel in that more Conservative setting been for you?
Melissa: It’s landed in interesting ways! I really enjoyed reading their siddur during Saturday morning services. I was going to meet a friend, but they have like three different Saturday morning services, and we ended up going to different ones. She keeps Shomer Shabbos, so I couldn’t text her to ask where she was. I was like: Fine, I’ll sit through the egalitarian service. A lot of the way the service was structured was unfamiliar to me, but I was really fascinated by it, and I loved going through the siddur, because it was very familiar to Reform siddurs [I’d seen], but with all new footnotes for me to read. I enjoyed going through and seeing their explanations for why things are done in a certain order. It was enriching to experience Judaism in a more ‘traditional’ sense than I had before.
Samuel: What else is feeling alive for you Jewishly?
Melissa: It’s not in DC, but I’m going home for Rosh Hashanah, which I’m really looking forward to. My family has been doing a family kiddush for the past 102 years. We still get 40-odd people there and it’s always really, really wonderful.
Samuel: How has your relationship with that changed as you’ve grown up, moved away from home?
Melissa: I’ve always made it my key to be home. I need to be home for Rosh Hashanah and Thanksgiving. When I was in grade school, I was annoyed because all my friends got a day off and I was in synagogue and with my family…but it was always something that was important to me, because it’s like my mom’s side of the family’s annual family reunion. It’s such a great environment – I have my grandparents, but I also have my great-uncles and great-aunts, who aren’t grandparents, but I still feel that grandparent vibe from them. There’s so many people like that in my life.
Samuel: A few quick ones to close. I hear you adopted a cat?
Melissa: I have a tattoo of my [childhood] cat Noodles’ paw print. We adopted him when I was in first grade and had him for 18.5 years. Within six months of adopting him, my mom and sister found out they were allergic, so he was my best friend. He passed right when I was leaving for Iowa. I didn’t want to get a cat until I was back in DC and until I felt like I had a good social life. When August rolled around, I was meeting people and doing things regularly, starting to feel like I had found a community, so I was like: Okay, it is Bobby time. I got him, and it was really wonderful.
Samuel: Is there anything about having a cat that feels particularly Jewish to you?
Melissa: Every morning, I think about how you’re supposed to feed your pets before you feed yourself. Which I don’t technically do, but that’s because he was an automatic dry food feeder. Though he thinks he’s never been fed. Every time I’m in the kitchen, he’s screaming like he’s never eaten in his life.
There’s a lot of selflessness that comes with having a cat. That feels very Jewish to me – I need to take care of him, in the same way we’re expected to take care of other Jews. And he’s very opinionated, which feels Jewish as well. When he’s being naughty, I call him Robert, which was my grandfather’s middle name. Bobby came with his name, but I joke that he’s named after my grandfather.
Samuel: You can bring any three people to Shabbat dinner. Who are you inviting?
Melissa: My mom’s dad and my dad’s mom, who have both passed. And Mel Brooks. To liven up the conversation.
Samuel: Last one. Finish the sentence: When Jews of the DMV gather..
Melissa: Connections are made!
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