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Adrienne and I meet one chilly, rainy afternoon at Mt. Pleasant’s Elle for a reflective chat on visibility and joy in her Jewish practice, Adrienne’s journey back to in-person Jewish community, and Judaism through the generations of her family!
Samuel: You moved here from Chicago a few months before the pandemic. How did you build your Jewish community in the DMV?
Adrienne: I started with some good old fashioned Googling, and I did get the chance to participate in a few really good events. But, I ended up having to put Jewish community-building on the backburner soon after because of the pandemic. At that time, I was working at a community clinic and I was worried about doing too many other in-person activities because it increased my exposure. Also, it took a lot of time and focus to keep the clinic running.
Then, to add to all of that, I met my now-partner Josh, who isn’t Jewish, in June of 2020. It was important to me in those first few years to spend quality time and energy with him so that we could create a strong foundation for our relationship. Looks like it worked, since I’m moving to Reston in November to live with him! But, during all those years, I knew I still wanted to be a part of the DMV Jewish community again.
My first event back was Alternative Yom Kippur with GatherDC in 2023, and it was an amazing welcome back! I’ve attended many events hosted by Gather over the last year, and this year at Alt YK I taught a community workshop as part of the event. GatherDC really has been my main source for Jewish community this past year, and it’s been really fun!
Samuel: Not asking you to pat us too hard on the back, but what about Gather has worked for you?
Adrienne: The follow-through with engagement is something I really value. I am an extroverted community-builder, so I’m usually the one to reach out first. However, even as an extrovert, it can be tiring after a while if the initial engager is always me. I have really appreciated the Gather community matching my level of engagement. I haven’t always been in a community like this, where I feel like I’m getting back what I’m giving.
Samuel: Back in Chicago, you worked at a Jewish girls’ boarding high school. What’s something from that world that you wished more people understood?
Adrienne: This was a niche community, but it turned out their problems and goals were not so different from other communities I had served. What was really energizing about working at that school was that I was able to apply my wisdom and breadth of experience from working in both healthcare and education to my role as Operations Manager in a lot of creative ways. I was also able to act as a bridge between the Jewish community and other communities we were working with, which I watched firsthand improve the quality of life for our students. It was a really satisfying experience.
Samuel: How does working in education and healthcare resonate for you Jewishly?
Adrienne: It’s easy for me to apply Jewish values [onto that work] because those values are already naturally what I believe in. But, as I say that, I can hear Gather staff saying: How is that specifically Jewish, as opposed to just, like, being a good person? The more I steep myself in Jewish culture and Jewish wisdom, I am inspired to stay curious while also being able to refer back to an extensive body of knowledge to inspire me. I want to be forward-thinking, but I also have learned that I don’t need to reinvent the wheel. People have thought about what I’m thinking about, collected data, looked at it from a Jewish lens. I sometimes find it valuable to go see what Jewish scholars have to say on a topic I’m curious about.
And that reminds me of another Jewish value I love, which I haven’t really found in other communities I am part of. That is the willingness to respectfully debate, to proactively unearth and display all sides of an argument when considering a solution to a problem. We obviously see that reflected in Jewish text. Actively engaging in Jewish community has been one way I have kept my problem-solving skills sharp, which has been such an asset to me.
Samuel: Okay, a few more before we close. What are you feeling proud about right now?
Adrienne: I’m feeling really accomplished with where I’m at in my career. I fought very hard to get to this point. I have an established private practice and consulting business called Sunset Moth Wellness here in the DMV, and I work remotely for the University of Virginia as a Learning Technology Specialist. There was a lot of failure, a lot of brushing myself off and getting back up again. It took applying a lot of the resiliency skills I teach others about to mentally and emotionally persevere over the last several years.
Samuel: You can invite any three people to Shabbat dinner. Who are you bringing?
Adrienne: I would love to have Shabbat dinner with my maternal great-grandmother, who I never met; my maternal grandmother, who I only met a few times; and my mother, who I’m really close to.
When my mother was 18, her father remarried and converted from Judaism to Catholicism for his new wife. It was ultimately okay, but there was a lot of pain associated with that change, and a lot of our family’s Jewish history was lost. I’m so curious how my great-grandmother would run that Shabbat dinner. My understanding from the stories my mom has told me is that she really loved practicing her Jewish faith. I feel like I’d learn so much about myself and why Judaism even speaks to me as an adult, even though I wasn’t raised in the faith. It would be so fascinating to see how our four very different expressions of Judaism played out during that dinner.
Thinking about this question reminds me of a really meaningful interaction I had with my mom back in 2019. I was at my parents’ home during Hannukah that year, and I placed my menorah, which my amazing gentile father made me, in their window. As many parents like to do, my mother sometimes posts moments from my life on her social media without asking me. On that night, she took a photo of the menorah without me knowing and posted it on her Instagram. When I saw it, I got a little mad at her because I felt like she was capitalizing on my spiritual practice for attention, and I called her out on it.
But then she said: “You know, I actually posted it because when I was a little girl, my bubbe would come over and want to put her menorah in the window, and I always wanted her to take it down. I was embarrassed, and I didn’t want anyone to know that we were Jewish, but I’m not embarrassed anymore, and I want it shown in the window.”
That was her putting it in the window – putting it on her Instagram, displaying that part of her. She has so much pain connected to her Judaism, and it was such an emotional experience for me to witness her associating a Jewish tradition with joy and healing.
Samuel: Last one. Finish the sentence: When Jews of the DMV gather…
Adrienne: Joy becomes exponential. Joy multiplies. That’s my experience. I continue to be drawn towards Jewish traditions and activities because they bring me joy. Not to negate the breadth of feelings and even the pain existent in our Jewish past and present, but it’s Jewish joy that keeps me coming back to Jewish spaces.
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