GTJ Satirist Brian F. – Kim Jong-Un Refuses to Comment about Acting Career

upPYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – (@The Comedy News) – Kim Jong-Un, heir to the North Korean Supreme Leadership throne, has kept quiet about his previous career as a Hollywood actor.

“Kim Jong-Un can neither confirm nor deny his role in the 2009 Oscar-nominated film, Up,” announced Kim’s publicist, William Morris.

Entertainment writers have long-speculated that Kim did indeed play a supporting role in the film Up as Russell, a portly, jovial young kid with father issues that latches onto a senile old man named Carl Fredrickson–played by former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno.

The late Coach Paterno had also refused to comment on his role in the critically-acclaimed film, Up.   (SEE STORY)

According to, there is no listing for Kim Jong-Un’s brief acting career—most likely due to threats stemming from North Korean officials.

The rumor going around Hollywood has been that even though Kim’s late father, Kim Jong-Il threatened producers to cast his son in the film Up, he also required producers to expunge all records of his son acting in the film—promising a nuclear holocaust upon the Western Hemisphere for noncompliance—excluding Canada, though, because hockey and curling are now the fastest growing sports in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

Still, the 28-year-old Kim’s publicist is ambiguous with his statements about his life before politics.
“Let’s just say, hypothetically, that Kim was an actor, arrrrright?” The publicist continued, as several large guns appeared pointed at his head.  “Let’s say the young Kim was indeed a 245-pound jolly jelly-belly cream-puff fluff-muffin son-of-a-little-bitch actor with a smile as big as China—would you honestly think that at a time like right now, when his father just passed away, that he would start hogging the all the media attention?  C’mon!  You media-types are simply cruel, and you must be eliminated.”
Brian Fishbach is a writer and comedian.  You can read Brian’s weekly satire news articles at, and enjoy his late-night jokes at  Join The Comedy News’ Facebook page for updates.

GTJ’s Satirist Brian F. – Teaching Bubbe To Text Not Going Very Well

BubbeBOCA RATON, FL – (@The Comedy News) – Dustin Kaiser thought a great way to spend Christmas Day would be to teach his 88-year-old Bubbe, Marsha how to send a text message on her new iPhone.

However, despite his pending Ph.D in social work from Cornell, Dustin’s efforts to teach Bubbe Marsha were futile.

“I’ve always known Bubbe to be a strong, smart idol of mine,” said Dustin.  “But watching her hit the ‘call end’ button over and over, and then turning off the phone when she wasn’t using it, made me flip my lid.”

Dustin’s patience wore thin as he hovered behind his Bubbe—who was perched in her favorite rocking chair.  After Bubbe Marsha asked where the “erase button” was [referring to ‘delete’] Dustin snatched the phone away from her and called his confused Bubbe a “windpassing altacocker”.

Bubbe Marsha, a retired nurse who has been alive since the Calvin Coolidge administration, maintained her poise during the entire ordeal.

And despite her complete and total failure at attempting to send a text message, Bubbe Marsha did manage —all on her own— to learn how to shoot and upload sepia-faded photographs to Instagram.

Brian Fishbach is a comedian, writer, political satirist, former GTJ JGOTW, and musician specializing in social and political commentary. You can read Brian’s weekly satire news articles at, and enjoy his late-night jokes at Join The Comedy News’ Facebook page for updates.