ARCHIVE STORY (1993)
MILWAUKEE, WI – (@The Comedy News) – Nine-year-old Brian F. (name redacted due to age restrictions) received quite a surprise when he got his graded U.S. History test back in Mrs. Teller’s third grade class.
“I was the only one in the class to get 100% of the questions right, but I spelled June wrong, so I got a 90%,” explained Brian. “I spelled June with a ‘W’. It should have a W anyways.”
Brian’s initial defense was that he recently started Hebrew school so he has ‘Judaism on the mind’ more than usual. Still, his teacher did not budge on Brian’s egregious spelling error and insisted that the grade remain the same.
Later that week, after asking his babysitter Matt for advice, Brian wrote a note to his teacher contesting the grade once again:
Dear Mrs. Teller,
Mark Twain once said, “I don’t give a damn for a man who can only spell a word one way.”
Please change my grade.
Mrs. Teller’s response to this note was forcing Brian to do one month of indoor recess for using the word “damn”.
Brian responded with a written statement in Crayon:
“but by then, school will be over, we don’t have school in the month of JEW-LIE.”
Brian Fishbach is a writer and comedian. You can read Brian’s weekly satire news articles at www.TheComedyNews.com, and enjoy his late-night jokes at www.BrianFishbach.com. Join The Comedy News’ Facebook page for updates.