Welcome to week two of Monday Gather the News! Ever since GTN left the Friday timeslot to agenda-driven, overly-negative “divrei Torah,” we have actually seen a slight uptick in hits. The true judge, however, of how carefully people are reading this is whether or not anyone notices the dig in the previous sentence. Now, on to news Gathering…
- Glenn Beck compares Reform Judaism to radicalized Islam. If he’s using the criteria of “groups that hate George W. Bush,” then I’d say it’s a pretty apt comparison.  (HT Erik S.)
- Some French fashion designer I’ve never heard of insults a woman’s handbag; it somehow escalates into an alleged antisemitic incident. Only in France. 
- Charlie Sheen will flirt with anything, including, apparently, antisemitism.
- Muammar Gaddafi is Jewish. 
- You didn’t just gloss over that last point, did you?
- Maybe-Jewish dictator, Muammar Gaddafi, once had an idea to solve the Israel-Palestinian conflict with a single state called “Isratine.” Unfortunately, this plan was derailed when Palestinians demanded the name be “Palesrael.” Muammar would have none of it.
- To tie the last few bullet points together, can you match the crazy line with the crazy individual?
- The Israeli government brings the Chilean miners to Israel for a special tour of the country. Something tells me the Kotel tunnel tour was not on the itinerary. 
- Rahm continues to be Rahm.
- It is officially ON between Jewish rappers Matisyahu and Drake, as Matisayhu makes the bold statement that his “Jewiness” is unparalleled. This seems to be what passes for a rap feud these days.
Send me stories all week at email@example.com! 
 If ONLY radical Islam was like Reform Judaism. Do you know how many tikkun olam campaigns there would be? Like so many!
 Even before I read the article, I took one look at the guy’s picture and decided I didn’t like him.
 Ok, the source is a little flimsy.
 Did anyone notice this strange non sequitur in the middle of the article: “The Old City is in East Jerusalem, in territory annexed by Israel after the 1967 war and coveted by the Palestinians as the capital of a future state. Israel’s claims of sovereignty in East Jerusalem have not been internationally recognized.”
 You’ll get a hat tip, I swear! Just ask Erik S.